Friday, September 21, 2007

caught in a firestrom

There so many work issues swirling around me that I can't focus straight, so instead I purg on media.


* Netflix has strangely placed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind as a Comedy. A suburban mom is in for a shock.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

There is quite a bit on my mind as of late -
the uncertainty of my job
the cerebral vs the biological
pointless pop cultural obsessions
so much meaning so little.


lately though, I throw myself off. Deciding which direction to give into: the carnal or the cerebral. This is in terms of romantic entanglements. Looking back, I can see how much the flesh directed my interests. It clouded so many elements of a relationship - but mostly it clouded and dulled me. I can clearly see what I want. But I am at a loss as to how to get it. I have become terribly skilled at playing the sex game. I know how to play the actions, moments, and situations to lead up to the carnal match point. Basic interest play with flirtation - minimal personal anecdotes shared, playful social meetings and the consummation.
There has been more, yes - of course. I've had relationships first based exclusively on friendship, mutual admiration - and then sex rears its tempting head into the equation.
More than anything I frustrated by my inability to have a relationship cultivated purely on the love of the psyche vs the love of the physical.

Oh, and I am so not ok with the whole "singles" scene - way lame. I am so content to hang out with my friends instead of getting hit on in a bar.
I can see my future as the woman who has cats and a loft apartment, known loving amongst my best friends' children as either "Auntie Mancha" or "Auntie Chica".
Seriously.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Input Please

This is all conditional:
-IF you were still a child (that being defined as under the age of 10)
AND
-IF your parents would let you freely decide, without their clever parent input,

1). How would you dress (for everyday)?
2). What would you wear for extra special occasions?
3). What would you dress up as for Halloween?
4). Would you give valentines?
AND if so, to whom.

I can tell you now that I would not give valentines, but would expect at least 12. I was a child who learned to give valentines as insurance to receive them - telling i know

Monday, August 27, 2007

Finally!
now maybe things will be less corrupt!
probably not...

Friday, August 24, 2007

the day that my world stopped spinning

is today - i am crushed
since Monday the Hardees ad on Pagesix.com has promised me free fries. I admit, I placed a heavy responsibility on the free fries from Hardees, they were to be the highlight of my week. As many of you know - If it's free, its for me.

At 2:05pm the blow was dealt. While checking Hardees.com for the hours of my local Hardees I crumbled at the discovery that the Hardees that was once at the corner of Broadway and E.28TH is no longer. closed - my free fries evaporated from my clutches!!!

And the closest Hardees is in Willoughby - close to an hour away!!!!
Ye Gods!!!!! WHY?!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

untitled

This is by no means to trumpet myself or to boost. It has been a good ten years since I was in the Lorain International Princess Pageant. It has been at least 9 years since that this has been the front page of the City of Lorain website - and it is really embarrassing to come to that page at work with a shit ton of people/colleagues around my computer, when researching

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

"oh, gracias senorita. esta muy amibale!"

so one day down and an unknown amount to go.


Returning to Lorain has been an unexpected experience. Essentially, after I graduated high school, I moved out of Lorain. Seven years later, Lorain has changed significantly. South Lorain has been swallowed up by gangs and unchecked violence. the 2006 calendar year reaped seven homicides. By July 2007, seven homicides had been committed. The latest one committed on the owner of Granny D's pizza - right across from my little brothers school and in a "safe" neighborhood.

The school system laid off close to 3oo, I repeat, 300 teachers. South Lorain, my neighborhood, has bore the brunt of the violence and educational set backs. Gangs are back in South Lorain, so many homes and businesses are boarded up. I am honestly shocked at the rate of deterioration that has occurred.

The community center I work in is actually an old elementary school and the community center leases the school from the Lorain school system. Structurally speaking, the building stands, it protects from the elements better than, say, a tin shack, but by no means is a building that suits the centers financial requirements and the communal demands. Since April the center has spent over $22, 000 on utilities due to the lack of structural integrity. The building leaks heats, water, the roof leaks, the sewer system need to be replaced. It's rough. The plan was to request a different building from the city so that when the centers' lease came up in Jan. 2008, the center could re-locate. No such luck. Yesterday the school system evicted the center. If the school system does not demolish the building the center is located within 90 days, then the center has a long life-span. If the city decides to demolish then we have to relocate. The uncertainty is unnerving but my director seems completely at ease with this ridiculous situation.

I am primed to find a new building, but my director seems to think that we have nothing to worry about. what is that?!!!!